I got bored today, and thus came the inspiration to make this:
Epic Tory Time
Wud up Canada.
This is Epic Tory Time.
Tell your mother the Liberals raped you.
It’s time to fight some crime.
*Show black screen with white letters: EPIC JAIL TIME*
I’m fucking tired of all these criminals all up in this shit
Fuck these statistics saying crime is at an all time low.
Facts need to shut up.
There are criminals everywhere and today we’re gonna find them
Or MAKE THEM. YEAH YUH!
First, we need jails.
A prison expansion, all up in here.
Then more jails, because we’re changing the crime fighting game.
Nothing is more complete without the soothing smell of iron bars and concrete.
Breath in the inspiration for incarceration.
Ahhhhhh, so good.
But we don’t end it here.
No. No bill is complete without the full force of the motherfucking law.
A prison ain’t no prison without the criminals innem
You grow Mary Jane?
Mandatory minimums for 2 years
More mandatory minimums, just because.
Fuck it, lets make up new laws just so we can fight more crime.
These jails are longing to be filled up deep inside.
*sensual “ahhhhhhh” sound*
You just might be a pedophile bitch looking at little sons n’ daughters of bitches.
Bill C-30. YEAH YUH.
We gonna spy on the internet connections of ALL Y’ALL CANADIANS.
Without warrants, because checks on state power are for pussies.
Gonna legislate an audacious surveillance state.
BIG UPS to George Orwell for the tips.
Good luck clearing your search history now, slut.
But this ain’t enough.
We need more criminals scum to lace these cells.
More Canucks to fill the everlasting hunger of the prison lobby.
Writin’ up Bill C-11 now. Aww yeeeeah!
*Display Click here, with a hyperlink directly to a copyrighted MP3*
You just infringed, you fuckin’ pirate.
We KNOW! Because we have your net HIS-TORY
That’s $20,000. Pay up, or be a prison bitch.
Your choice, because without choice there is no freedom.
Now just the final step. Final readings.
Fuck debate. Pass C-10
Fuck debate. Pass C-30
We’re fighting crime, you pussies.
We ain’t no argumentation nation in a Tory Majority.
We’re shutting down debates everywhere.
Open dialogue is for haters.
So we passing C-11.
BILLS ARE LAWS NOW.
It’s tiiime, to end criiiiime.
*Montage of everyone being put in jail*
*Cut back to the PMO*
Next time, we end women’s suffrage.
Yeah yeah, it ain’t how you’re actually supposed to write a script and it may or may not be a tad hyperbolic. Shut up.
Last Sunday, after canvassing and lit dropping for TorDan Liberal candidate Grant Gordon, I dropped by my relative’s house near Castle Frank station somewhere in the Rosedale area.
They had invited their friends that day, who thankfully turned out to be crazy Liberals. We had a fun talk, and they argued that Harper was a fascist. I disagreed, until one of them pulled out their iPhone and searched up The 14 Characteristics of Fascism:
Powerful and Continuing Nationalism Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.
Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of “need.” The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.
Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.
Supremacy of the Military Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.
Rampant Sexism The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Opposition to abortion is high, as is homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy.
Controlled Mass Media Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.
Obsession with National Security Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.
Religion and Government are Intertwined Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government’s policies or actions.
Corporate Power is Protected The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.
Labor Power is Suppressed Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed .
Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund the arts.
Obsession with Crime and Punishment Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.
Rampant Cronyism and Corruption Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.
Fraudulent Elections Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.
Save for #5 (which is debatable), this list is pretty spot on, eh?